I never knew until now
by toobeauty
Summary: This is for ANIME LOVER 3693 for her constant support and comments! thanks sweetie, hope you like it!


TITLE: I never knew … till now.

AUTHOR: Too_beauty.

PAIRING: Hephaestion and Alexander.

RATING: PG

CATEGORY: Historical AU.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, they belong to History and to themselves but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with him. *sighs*

WARNING: None, just some fluff.

Beta: Emily who can put my thoughts into beautiful words ……

FEEDBACK: comments are love!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The words in block capital letters belong to the lyrics of "Never knew I needed" by Ne-Yo. It is also the soundtrack of the Disney film "The princess and the frog"

Alexander was in one of those moods, the one that made him remember his youth and those times when he first realized who really held his heart. So there he was, King of most of the known world, sitting on a patch of grass with a blue flower between his thumb and index finger, looking like a love-struck teen even though he was in his early forties.

Sighing loudly, he rested his back on the still-wet grass and, looking at the fluffy clouds rolling gently over his head, he began to sing (he only sang when he was alone or when his Phai had been really persistent):

"FOR THE WAY YOU CHANGED MY PLANS, in fact my mother's who was pushing me to women, FOR BEING THE PERFECT DISTRACTION, who could concentrate on Aristotle's lessons when you were by my side, a brunette god walking on earth; FOR THE WAY YOU TOOK THE IDEA THAT I HAVE OF EVERYTHING THAT I WANTED TO HAVE AND MADE ME SEE THERE WAS SOMETHING MISSING, that something missing was the rational side of everything, I tended to act according to my hot head and sometimes unexpected problems arose, problems that could have been avoided but you were always there and helped me to sort them out."

Alexander rolled on his side and caressed the blades of tender grass with his fingertips. It reminded him of his lover's eyelashes and the thin hair that covered his arms and legs; the King sighed again and continued his whimsical tune without realizing that he had a witness.

"FOR THE ENDING OF MY FIRST BEGIN, AND FOR THE RARE AND UNEXPECTED FRIEND I found in you, always ready to help without being submissive, FOR THE WAY YOU'RE SOMETHING THAT I NEVER CHOOSE, in fact you chose to come to my father's court and from that very same moment when I saw you, I couldn't think about anyone else BUT AT THE SAME TIME you became my aim, my dream, my deepest wish and SOMETHING I DON'T WANNA LOSE AND NEVER WANNA BE WITHOUT EVER AGAIN, because I have seen how useless I am when you are not by my side.

YOU'RE THE BEST THING I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED SO WHEN YOU WERE HERE I HAD NO IDEA that you could change my life so much, turn it upside-down, make me dream while being awake, make me want you so much that it hurt, make me wish the time run faster so we could meet earlier. YOU ARE THE BEST THING I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED SO NOW IT'S SO CLEAR I NEED YOU HERE ALWAYS, to go on working, loving you …. just living."

The unseen spectator covered his mouth, laughter and sobs struggling to escape the boundaries of his velvet lips. He knew Alexander loved him and yet it still, after so much time, shocked him because he was the king - he could have chosen anyone. But Alexander had chosen him, once and again.

The king sat again, grabbed his knees and pushed them against his chest. Resting his left cheek over his kneecaps, he closed his eyes to fully lose himself in his world of Hephaestion, and went on with his song.

-" MY ACCIDENTAL HAPPILY EVER AFTER, the one that was supposed to be with her, was never true, you know well that a heart can't have two owners, and mine has been yours since the moment our eyes met; THE WAY YOU SMILE AND HOW YOU COMFORT ME WITH YOUR LAUGHTER is the best medicine for my blue moods; I MUST ADMIT YOU WERE NOT A PART OF MY BOOK, not at the beginning of my life, at least, BUT NOW IF YOU OPEN IT UP AND TAKE A LOOK, YOU ARE THE BEGINNING AND THE END OF EVERY CHAPTER and I intend that it remains this way forever and a day after, because now we are writing our book, the one that speaks about our dreams, our fears but mostly about our love for each other.

"WHO KNEW THAT I COULD BE HERE, SO UNEXPECTEDLY, UNDENIABLY HAPPY, that anyone can see my love for you pouring out of my eyes whenever I look at you, whenever I call you and your name slips through my lips, caressing it because you are my everything, and I'd like that I'd be WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME and not so far away because you are the only person I'd ever needed and will need because you are the one that completes me, the one that …"

"I am glad to listen to that, my King," whispered Hephaestion into his ear.

Alexander lifted his gaze and his blurred eyes met his partner's, so blue but clouded all the same.

"Phai? What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you till tomorrow," Alexander said. He, of course, did not mind in the slightest to see his love early.

"Thank Auburn with some extra apples; I made her run faster so I could be with you tonight. I really missed you, Xander."

"Me too, Phai, me too," said the king, leaning over his lover's strong chest

"I had forgotten how beautiful your voice was, you haven't sung for me in a long time."

"Oh! How much have you heard?" asked Alexander with a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Enough to confirm your feelings for me," said Hephaestion with a tiny smile that lit the darkening sky more than stars ever could.

"After all these years together, do you still need a confirmation?" teased Alexander. His expression, however, gave away the nervousness that he felt.

Hephaestion's eyes gazed back with warmth. "No, I don't, but I still love listening to them."

Alexander sighed with relief and smiled again. "That's fine, let's come back and let me show you how much I love you," said Alexander while standing up and hugging his lover tightly.


End file.
